Another day of chaos

I'm not sure how I even got to this point. Always sacrificing for others and in the end, I am left carrying the weight. Its obvious that I care too much about other people. And its also obvious that no one shares the same feelings as me. I knew a long time ago, I wouldn't have much of a future. I knew that I'd end up dying alone, no kids and probably just a pet. I've tried enough in my life to have a future, and it seems that I'm just not supposed to have one.

I have no one to talk to. I'm just supposed to keep it all in. And even if I try to vent to someone else, if other people hear it, I get told to stop bitching. I feel unwanted and that I don't belong. I really wish my life didnt' suck like it does. I wish I had someone to listen to me. Like face to face. Not on the internet. But, I dont have that. I'm just supposed to suck it up.

I'm at a point where I need someone physically here to help me. And even tho theres people around, I still feel alone. Like I'm the only one around. No matter where I am, I dont feel like I belong.

People always say to call if I need someone to talk to. I could, but I dont feel like doing that over the phone. It'd be nice to have someone around who understands what I'm going through. I just dont. Well, theres a few with ptsd around, but none of them care unless its about them. All I know, is that never again will I pick up my life and move across the country. For anyone. For any reason. Why sacrifice for someone else, when they are not willing to even recognize that you're suffering too? Its a life I don't feel is worth living.