It is unclear at this point where my life is going. (But I assume it's like that for many people.) Going to school seems to be pretty far-fetched at this point. My concentration is way off and I just don't have the willpower to learn right now. I'd rather not go to school then to fail and have to pay it back.
It's been really cold in Cali. Kind of depressing actually, but what can you do. I just bundle up as much as I can, (which usually includes at least 2 hoodies and a coat) and i'm still cold. This freak cold weather probably followed me here to just like it did Iraq. I'm sure my army buddies will get that one.
The combination of my TBI and PTSD this week are disturbing. There is a small possibility that I wouldn't be able to tear my way out of a wet paper bag. The highlight was the stuffing issue, which I posted about a few days ago. I've had a lot of episodes where I'd go to do something, and 2 steps into my mission :: BAM:: its gone. Same thing with conversations. I loose track of what i'm talking about and forget altogether.
Fact is, my heart hurts. Its heavy and its history has been weighing on me for some time now. Recently, my head and my heart have gone head to head in a fight to see which one can cause me more agony. Its hard to decipher between the two when you're already overwhelmed. Most days I feel like I'm being double teamed by karma for something I apparently don't remember doing. It's always something. Or absolutely nothing.
