Bradley

I got to Redding 12 hours ago. Bradley walked right up to me. We bonded pretty quick.

 He's 7 wks old, still a young buck, and it shows. He's adorable. Def worth the 10 hour drive. Earlierl he was laying down with me, looked up, snuggled and put his mini paw in my eye. lol Too cute. The dad, Gage, has the biggest head I've ever seen. lol He has a habit of trying to flip the puppies. And because he so big, his paws get int he way and he tends to step on the puppies. Not intentionallly.. There's 2 puppies left. Both males. Gage likes to be up in my face all the time. lol Big boy loves attention. lol Sean has some good dogs tho. Gage cracks me up. Him and his big head. haha I call him "big head' instead of gage tho. haha

GAGE

This is the first time I've been on a computer since I left LB for the drive up. I can't wrap my head around the emails right now. Lack of sleep I'm guessing. But Tomorrow I'll see what I can do. Saturday is a good day to do it too. My chill day in Tracy with the pup before heading south. I'm tryin to get him used to wearing a colllar. Sean gave me a spiked on for him. Too big for now tho. It can be his pimp collar lol

Bradley's pretty smart, but I've watched him get bullied by the other 2 pups. (Reminds me of me at one point. haha) After a little paw to paw conversation, he's starting to nip back like his mama. haha Took him for a ride today. He's not a fan of the car just yet lol, but in his defense he had no idea what was going on hahaha He'll get used to it. Still a little confused about the 'outside'. I watched him tackle a leaf earlier. He likes those.

I've been super busy. Thats what happens when you show you're reliable. lol Got a few what i'll dub 'taskers' to look into.

Gonna try to get some more sleep, if those other 2 pups ever stop acting a fool haha  I know this blogs a little scattered. Think I'm gonna pass out. That drive was exhausting. If only I could find room on the couch amongst these dogs. lol

No one wants to admit they're broken...

Today I fell asleep in my car. Just straight kicked the seat back and passed out. Best sleep I've had in days. Go figure. It's probably a good thing that I was by myself most of the day. My PTSD was not cooperating. I can't wait to get Bradley. I need a comfort zone.

It's 11pm and I'm back to sitting in the car thinking. This trip was a great idea because it's given me an opportunity to see clearly again. Doesn't look All that great, but I'll be ok. I didn't realize I was surviving on hope. Which is stupid. Because it clearly isn't working. Tried going with the flow. You see where that got me. I'm done caring. My focus will stay where it belongs. On veterans. I just need to be able to get from day to day.  Aside from that, I'm used to being by myself. I think as long as I have someone to hang out with every now and then, it'll do.

As soon as figure it all out, I'll be straight. Just lots of randoms going on. I set up a surprise for a badass 11yr old. I have an event in studio city on the 15th. I'm moving, getting Bradley next month... There's a lot lol. Oh. A veteran called the Warrior Distress Line and it did exactly what it was meant to do.  Allowed the veteran to talk to another veteran. And he said he will be spreading the word. :)) so we're gonna need more volunteers. Glad it helped him.

It occurred to me today that as long as I had a place to shower, I could easily live in my car. I really don't think it would bother me. I got my cell...with Internet. Maybe I'm just getting used to being in my car. Meh.

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Maybe it's because of my mid day nap. Maybe not. All I know is that although I'm in limbo at the moment, I feel more at home here. I'm not sure why. Sure, the streets are fuckin confusing. But I'll get used to it. I wish I wasn't physically broke. I'd start skating again. lol

Don't ask me why, but I'm watching Oprah. lol The dude from Dirty Jobs is on there. Talkin about Deadliest Catch and how it shows how real it is. Yet, they canceled "Over There" (which I own)after only one season, because the public couldn't handle it. THAT is a truth they need to get. Combat is the only dangerous thing, that the public can't handle. Yet we entertain their ignorance. Sad.

It used to be appalling, the way this country has come to think. Now? I'm not even surprised that veterans get shafted in any way they can sneak it in. Always trying to take away rights WE fought for. Not the idiots protesting abortion. US. You'd think out of respect to our sacrifices, they'd AT LEAST do as they promised. Guess we're not that important. Just wait. When everything goes to hell. Those same people talking shit, will be looking at us to protect them...again. What are they gonna do if we can't because of those broken promises? I'm just sayin. We don't owe anyone shit. As far as I'm concerned, this country owes US. So, get on it.