I go where I'm needed...

Time til Christmas is dwindling down. Christmas is almost here. Tomorrow I have to drive down to Belmont to pick up Jason. Just wish I knew when... and fuck I hope I have enough gas. I SHOULD be able to get there on a quarter tank... but traffic. That's what scares me.

I'm watching the Steelers...again. Which is weird. Isn't this like the second time this week? Whatever. Either way we're up 27-0. :) I do love football. I can't wait to have someone to watch it with. Like I've said previously. Kinda boring.

I'm more and more excited about moving to Long Beach as each day passes. Fresh start. People I can trust and hang out with. People who won't abandon me. Plus.. Bradley!! I pick him up on the way back from Studio City. I just have to make sure I can get a place that is cool with Bradley being a pitbull. If I'm lucky, the Army will give me my $ by at least June so I can just try to do the "Rent to Own" thing. The money they owe me still is goin to a down payment on a house or something. If I do that, then  no one can say shit. Plus, I'd be able to unfuck the decor' that is certain to exist in any home I choose. Point is, I'll be able to design it to my tastes. Not someone elses. Ya know, get a house with a couple rooms and rent them out to veterans. That'll help ease the burden of the bills on me, help out a fellow veteran, and we all have someone right there if needed. Kinda like being here. Just warmer.

I was told that I tend to go where I'm needed. Not intentionally, I just gravitate to where I'm needed. A few months ago, something told me I should move to Long Beach. I laughed, because I just moved. But the more I thought about it, I can do more down there. Its warmer, so its easier on me physically. I know way more people down there. Its' a perfect ending to a very trying few months. My life has been crazy since I got out in April. Here's my shot at some damn stability.  

When I moved here, it was either the best or worst decision ever. I honestly can't survive without a purpose. There has to be a reason for me to exist. That's why I keep myself so busy. I WISH I could work. But I just physically can't. I can help others, but never myself. What I need is someone who will help me when I needed, give me a hug when I look like I need one.. etc etc. I've come across some characters, that's for sure. Am I nervous? Hell yea! I hate moving! So, I'm gonna make sure everything is perfectly set before I pop smoke. July is the latest. If I end up out of here earlier, then so be it. But I'll def give Nadia a heads up.

 "Deuces" by Chris Brown (Let's not chastise him. It's about the song, not the ass-beating he did in his spare time.) Song is on point. I'm not trying to make my life work. I want it to do just what it's supposed to do. Go on. I can't spend the rest of my life settling.  And I won't. "My hearts big, but it beats quiet." True. It's time to go. Time to get to where I WANT to be by going where I'm needed. This REALLY is the last time tho. I can do more down south. I know more people. Its warmer. My niece lives in Hemet, so i'd actually be able to see her. I've had people buggin me to move down there since I got here in June. So why not go where I'm wanted?

Shit is about to change.