And it continues...

The confusion has yet to let up. Nothing in my life makes any sense. Its always hot and cold... off and on... confusion. Thats all I know anymore. There's always an excuse as to why its so difficult to decide, and I remain confused and lost. It never fails.

I went to my PTSD appt at Stanford and I hated it. I don't wanna talk about my childhood. Its irrelevant in my opinion. The longer I was there, the more angry I got. I just don't wanna talk about anything. I need structure. Thats all I need. I managed to get through everything else without any outside help, so I'm almost positive I'll do better on my own...but I'm only going to appease everyone else. I just don't wanna hear people try to coax me into treatment. I don't need to talk about my problems.

I'm still waiting on the VA for my claim. So, each month I get more broke and deeper in debt. All because the VA took forever. If it weren't for Nadia, I'd be homeless. And the VA could give a shit less. THEY ARE CREATING HOMELESS VETERANS. Period.